As a mom of two kids and who’s friends have kids, I find there is a lot of comparison going on. I even look at my own girls and compare where Amelia is at three years old verse where Aria was. Amelia doesn’t have as many words, she still soothes by sucking her thumb, there’s a little bit of a speech issue…So I think to myself is she behind? I had a big themed birthday for Aria when she turned one, and didn’t for Amelia. Am I an unfair mom? There are so many questions and thoughts we have about our own kids, not to mention where other kids are. Mom life pressure is real. And it’s not just the pressure we feel from others, Mom life pressure is any and everywhere.
It’s funny. You think you put a lot of pressure on yourself your whole life, then you have kids. It’s like all of a sudden you have to be perfect. I can remember when Aria was six weeks old, she had horrible reflux and my milk supply was low. The thought of formula felt like failure because all my friends weren’t having any issues. It’s the mom pressure, it’s a killer. Now with social media and seeing other kids it’s heighten even more.
Other bloggers are sharing the parties they’re having for their kids’ birthday or even holiday themed kids parties. Or all the fun Mommy and Me styles you see everywhere and thinking you need to be doing the same thing. Sure a lot of these are sponsored, but it can make a person feel inadequate if they can’t keep up.
Pinterest is another spot that kicks the guilt into high gear. I mean holy cow, who can afford to have these types of parties for a 3 year old, and every year their kid has a birthday? Or who can shop and buy all of these things for their kids every day, week or month? This mom pressure will make a girl go cray cray, #whoswithme ?
Anyway, I was talking to an older patient recently about this and she told me it never goes away. You’re constantly wondering and worrying about your kids, your decisions on how to raise and teach them. She basically told me to grab a bottle of wine, relax and do the best you can. She looked at me and said “You seem like a very sweet, kind honestly young lady. You’re mom must’ve felt the same way, but look at you. You turned fine, right?” Gosh I loved this patient. So sweet, insightful and of course she nailed who I am to a tee, HA!
She was the sweetest lady, but she’s right. The comparison is the killer of joy. Continue to remind yourself that everyone has something behind their perfect smiles, pictures, vacations or whatever it is you’re feeling pressure from. We’re all human and imperfectly beautiful. Next time those pressures and comparisons start coming on strong, remind yourself you are a good mom, wife, daughter, sister and whatever else you are. You are doing a wonderful job and everything will turn out just the way it’s suppose to.
Thank you so much for stopping. Hope you get out there and have a gorgeous week!