Let’s face it, there’s nothing worse than seeing kids struggle, fail at something or testing limits and not succeeding. As a Mom, seeing a child be upset is one of the hardest things to watch. We’re always picking up a fallen toy or offering something to a crying child…it’a human nature to offer a helping a hand.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the help and the offer to make things a little better or easier. But, for the sake of our children…Please stop rescuing them.
Here’s what mean. My kids are smart. They know who they are around, what they can get away with and act differently around different people. They know whining and fussing gets what they want some places, and in not in other’s, or they eat things at school, but wouldn’t dare eat them at home.
[Related: Combating Mom Stress and Exhaustion To Be A Better Mom]
Here’s an example, we were out to dinner recently and one of my girls decided they didn’t want to eat. She threw a fit, even cried, and refused to eat. A well-meaning diner offered her an activity to hep keep her calm and entertained while we finished dinner. However, I wouldn’t let her because she didn’t eat her dinner (mind you: we have eaten at this place before with her an had no issues).
Don’t Reward The Behavior
Some may view this as harsh, but to me poor behavior shouldn’t be rewarded. This just continues to foster and encourage what is happening. Sure, it’s embarrassing to deal with a child throwing a fit, but what scares me the most, is my daughters learning that they can always get their way with manipulating behaviors.
I’m scared they won’t learn the coping skills they need when faced with situations that aren’t in their favor. So what if they don’t always get their way.
I’m far more concerned with my girls growing up developmentally stunted because we always caved to their every wish and want. Or because they weren’t allowed to take risks, experiment or given the freedom to work through their emotions.
Let them Learn
I want them to learn it’s not always about them, that they may need to compromise. I want them to try things and fail at them in order to learn from their mistakes.
So as a parent I am trying to take more of a wait and watch approach when all I really want to do is swoop in and keep them from hurting or failing. And this approach may not be for everybody, but I don’t want to be judged for taking this approach.
[Related: 5 Tips To Stop Losing Your Temper With Your Kids ]
Trust me, I hate to see my girls not get what they want, or fail. Of course I want to baby them forever, but I’d be doing them a disservice if I do. And,lately I’ve been feeling like I’m not doing my job if I just swoop in every single time.
What are your thoughts? I’d love to start a conversation on this topic in the comments below!
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This is sooo on point dear, couldn’t agree more! Thanks for sharing!
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
Preach! I love this soooooo much. Both as a mom and a teacher, I wholeheartedly believe that though it’s hard, and I think it’s so hard now days to parent without judgment, we do need to remember we are not their friends, we are their parents. I recently wrote about this quote on my blog, but Brene Brown writes about how it’s our children’s job to push the limits and test the boundaries (so they feel safe and have clear understanding of them) and it’s our job as parents to hold those boundaries when it’s hard so that are children learn to trust in them, in us, and to feel safe. That’s exactly what you did. Your children will learn the boundaries and over time the WHY of the boundary.
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